Toxic people have disturbing emotional needs that cause them to intentionally hurt others. There are two main reasons why toxic people hurt others:
Narcissism. Narcissists are people who are desperate for others to see them in a good light. They need others to constantly validate them with adoration, adulation, and admiration. If they do not get it, they will devalue others. If they can’t be seen as a giant, they will try to turn everybody else into midgets.
Control. Sociopaths and psychopaths desperately need to hurt and control others to feel safe. They sabotage others and try to make them miserable so that they don’t feel powerless.
(Note that some abusers are both narcissistic and controlling.)
If you stop supplying your abuser with validation, they will stop seeing you as their go-to source of emotional supply. You can take away their reasons for abusing you.
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